The Real World of a Hotelier

Here is an old but funny description that’s been floating around the internet, of what an ideal hotelier must be… (By Rolf Oppenheim )

AN HOTELIER MUST BE:
A DIPLOMAT
A DEMOCRAT
AN AUTOCRAT
AN ACROBAT
AND…
A DOORMAT.

He must have the facility to entertain Prime Ministers, Princes of industry, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists, posies and prudes.
He must be on both sides of the political fence, and be able to jump that fence.
He should be or have been, a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis player, cricketer, darts player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist, as well as have a good knowledge of any other sports, involving dice, cards, horse racing and billiards. This is most useful, as he has sometimes to settle arguments and squabbles. He must, therefore, be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight lifter, sprinter and peacemaker.
He must always look immaculate, when drinking with the ladies and gentlemen mentioned in the second paragraph, as well as bankers, swanker, theatricals, commercial travelers and company representatives- even though he has just made peace between any of the two, four six or more of the aforementioned patrons.
To be successful, an hotelier must keep the bar full, the house full, the storerooms full, the wine cellar full, the customers full, and not get full himself.
He must have staff who are clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers, non drinkers, mathematicians, technicians, and at all times on the boss’s side, the customer’s side, and stay on the outside of the bar.
To sum up: the hotelier must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified, crucified, stupefied, cross eyed- and if he is not the strong, silent type, there is always suicide…